Every day that I wake up and realize that I did not have a nightmare is one more victory.
It seems odd to me that should be a celebration. Celebrations should be over something monumental, like birth, marriage or graduation, not a night without a nightmare. But for me, that is what I have come to celebrate.
Being a survivor of rape does not end when the judge hits his gavel on his desk and calls the next case. The man who raped me may walk freely, but I do not know that freedom. I have good days and good nights, but not one day has gone by since Sept 20, 2009 when I do not think about having my freedom stolen from me.
So now, I celebrate the small victories, like sleeping soundly, looking down and realizing I didn't automatically lock the door, not checking every face in every car I pass and not constantly looking over my shoulder at the store.
Every day I wake up is one more victory.
It seems odd to me that should be a celebration. Celebrations should be over something monumental, like birth, marriage or graduation, not a night without a nightmare. But for me, that is what I have come to celebrate.
Being a survivor of rape does not end when the judge hits his gavel on his desk and calls the next case. The man who raped me may walk freely, but I do not know that freedom. I have good days and good nights, but not one day has gone by since Sept 20, 2009 when I do not think about having my freedom stolen from me.
So now, I celebrate the small victories, like sleeping soundly, looking down and realizing I didn't automatically lock the door, not checking every face in every car I pass and not constantly looking over my shoulder at the store.
Every day I wake up is one more victory.
No comments:
Post a Comment